alainn_aislinn: (Doctor -- Old Souls)
Everyone keeps telling me to say what I want. To be who I am. To ask for what I need. To stop being the girl who's just trying to be what he needs.

So this is me, being me, and I'm asking you to stop.

I love him. I love the Doctor. My Doctor. And he loves me. Maybe he can't always say it, but he sometimes can, and I can feel it, and I'm the one he takes to bed at night. I know he cares very much for other people. I know he's loved people before me, and still loves them. But for right now, he's mine. We're together, me and him.

And I know that maybe what I feel doesn't matter to most people. I know that most of you probably don't even think of me as a real person with real feelings, but I have them, and I can be hurt and I can be scared and I get jealous and I feel slighted and pushed aside and like I don't even matter when you keep trying to seduce him away from me.

This is new, for both of us, and we're neither of us very good at it, and we're both trying desperately to figure out how to make it work. We mess up. We fight. We don't always say the right things, but we're together, and he hasn't left and I haven't left and we're trying.

Can't you respect that? Even if you don't like me, even if you think I don't matter, that I'm just some girl out there who doesn't really mean anything, I do mean something to him, and all of this is ripping me apart inside.

Just, please. Give us a chance. Respect the fact that he's not some free agent out there on the market, but that he has someone waiting at home who loves him. I know he's charming. I know he smiles and makes people feel special, but he's said he wants to be with me, wants to make this work, and I guess I'm asking you to respect that. To respect me, even if you don't like me.

I don't try to seduce away the people any of you care about. Please just...stop trying to take him away from me.

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alainn_aislinn

December 2007

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