Jan. 22nd, 2007
On the TARDIS (LoW: Bubble)
Jan. 22nd, 2007 09:03 pmAt home she would have retreated to her garden, but she wasn't at home, she was here where she couldn't even feel home except the faint thread of Devin that wore on the edge of her subconscious. She didn't think she'd be able to, but he was there, and that was at least a comfort.
The earth wasn't under her feet, which was disconcerting, but she was adjusting to that. For all that Byron had been there the night before, she'd already decided he couldn't be her anchor tonight. It was his birthday and Rose wanted to spend the night with him. He deserved to have that. She was still far too shy, uncertain, to go follow the Doctor anywhere unasked.
Unsure, she hovered outside his door for a moment, then retreated back down the hall to her room, but that didn't last more than a couple of minutes until she was wandering again.
In the end, she found her way to the Zero room, its calm closing around her like a bubble. Of course, blocking everyone else wasn't exactly what she needed so much as blocking herself out, but she certainly could stand to get through the night without feeling whatever Rose and Byron generated.
The cool pink light was soothing, and she sank to the floor, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes. The thoughts, the fear, the feeling of being out of control from an inner source, rather than an outer one, was still there, but it was softer. It was easier to pull it back inside and box it up tight. If she let one thing out at a time, she could examine it closely, look it over, figure out what it meant, how to deal with it, then put it back.
It was a slow, painstaking process, but it seemed to settle her some, though that might have been the room as well. The tears didn't come back, and she finally stretched out on the floor, curling up a little, still thinking about things.
Not too much later, she drifted off to sleep.
The earth wasn't under her feet, which was disconcerting, but she was adjusting to that. For all that Byron had been there the night before, she'd already decided he couldn't be her anchor tonight. It was his birthday and Rose wanted to spend the night with him. He deserved to have that. She was still far too shy, uncertain, to go follow the Doctor anywhere unasked.
Unsure, she hovered outside his door for a moment, then retreated back down the hall to her room, but that didn't last more than a couple of minutes until she was wandering again.
In the end, she found her way to the Zero room, its calm closing around her like a bubble. Of course, blocking everyone else wasn't exactly what she needed so much as blocking herself out, but she certainly could stand to get through the night without feeling whatever Rose and Byron generated.
The cool pink light was soothing, and she sank to the floor, leaning against the wall and closing her eyes. The thoughts, the fear, the feeling of being out of control from an inner source, rather than an outer one, was still there, but it was softer. It was easier to pull it back inside and box it up tight. If she let one thing out at a time, she could examine it closely, look it over, figure out what it meant, how to deal with it, then put it back.
It was a slow, painstaking process, but it seemed to settle her some, though that might have been the room as well. The tears didn't come back, and she finally stretched out on the floor, curling up a little, still thinking about things.
Not too much later, she drifted off to sleep.