Sep. 4th, 2007

alainn_aislinn: (I can't do this alone)
Treat your mind like a bad neighborhood - don't go there alone. -- Anonymous

Things get twisted and tangled up sometimes. She wonders, then, if it is hers or his, or some conglomeration of them all. If it is true that she drives men mad, then surely the opposite side of the coin cashes in on the deal, and she takes herself along with them. She cannot tie herself so closely, strapping her body and mind up against Icarus as he flies without the searing heat burning her as well. There are no wings to spread and carry her back up as she spirals down, and no matter what she was before, she knows that he has made her his in psyche, in soul, in the crumbling walls of sanity that do not hold up against the winds and rages of time.

She hides it better than he, usually. She smiles brighter, she finds delight in the simple things like sunshine on flowers that call to the part of her nature that wants to dance through fields and worship in the Goddess' grace. She laughs. She teases. She twirls her net of seduction, simple and sure, around those who wander close enough to be caught. She loves without the reservations, feeling too much without the filters he has erected.

They are not the same, and yet, they are in the way that heads are the same as tails--two parts of a whole and neither can fulfill its purpose without the other.

But she will not look too closely at what it has made her. She cannot bring herself to walk the twisted paths, swirling through mist and moonlight and cobwebs and ending in a plummeting abyss. She is expert at self-denial and ignorance, dancing in shadows and calling more to her, until there is a brighter mind, clearer, sharper, with paths of strict order that she finds she wants to walk, and it is two in one, because when he lets her in, she must do the same, and through his eyes, she sees the shadows in hers, the mist that hides and that even his light cannot fully penetrate.

She sees enough to frighten her, in places she never dared go before, but nothing there, and nothing in his shining order can help her in answering the question of what comes next.

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alainn_aislinn

December 2007

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