Mar. 16th, 2007

alainn_aislinn: (Expectant)
Whoever my anonymous admirer is...I am intrigued. :-D

TM: Time

Mar. 16th, 2007 04:55 pm
alainn_aislinn: (Time)
Defer no time, delays have dangerous ends. -- Shakespeare

I always thought that there would be more time. It stretches out so very long, until it brushes over the thread of eternity. It seems as if you have forever when it holds there, a single shining moment plucked out of the whirl of everything else.

There is sunlight, and somewhere there is music. Things taste sweet, and the air is salty around you, with sand working its way between your toes. He holds your hand, clinging tightly, pulling you from this attraction to that one, and always, always, to the musicians. His smile captures the gleam that is in the air, and you dance, and for that moment, no one else exists for either of you.

It went too quickly. The moments were so precious, and I was too young to recognize how much so. I laughed, sure there would be another dozen to follow, a hundred more shining so brightly, a thousand. We danced and had ice cream, and I knew that we would do so again, because it made his eyes shine so happily. There would always be more, I thought, naive and blind to the twists and turns of the mortal coil my decisions made him tread.

I did not think it would happen, so. There was always time, I thought. Time to explain; time to explore; time to discover the limits of what he was. A moment, a melody, a morning on a mountain, a day at the beach, an evening at the theatre, a night under the stars. I lost track of it, sliding between the Veil, home, to him, to them, to him, to home, until there he stood, shaking in the street, pale and sick and there were torches in the night and screams for blood.

I did what was necessary. I kept him safe. I should have...So many things I should have done, would have done differently, if I had known, seen, or had more time. I know I failed him, though a quiet voice whispers that I could not have prepared him for that even if I had all the time in the world.

I do not know which is the lie.
alainn_aislinn: (Came undone)
Aislinn went to the rec room as suggested, though it didn't improve her mood much. Not that she could have said exactly what was proving to be the thorn in her paw or whatever the stupid human reference was.

Everything was out of sorts and if she knew where it started, she didn't know the why of it, just that it was all shards under her skin and nothing fit right anymore and she wanted it to go back or forward or something else indescribable that made her head hurt to look at it too closely.

But she was there, as requested, waiting for her tea. Not that she thought tea would make anything any different. Sometimes she thought he'd spent a little too much time in England. Byron was always offering tea, too. And Doc. Neither of them were properly English either, but she overlooked it in favor of her ill-temper.

Except she didn't want to be ill tempered. Not with him. Not with anyone. She just wanted everything to stop cutting so deep when she couldn't understand the whys of it.

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alainn_aislinn

December 2007

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